1. Your worst subject which will comprise 50% of the exam. The other 50% of the test will be on the female pelvis.
2. Most exam takers will bring ear plugs to protect themselves against noisy people in the room. It is also recommended to bring nose plugs to protect against smelly people in the room. You might also want to blindfold yourself to protect against ugly people in the room.
3. When in doubt, the answer is priapism (the painful prolonged male erection).
4. Regardless of chief complaint or symptoms, every African-American female on the exam has sarcoidosis or possibly lupus. Every Caucasian female has either pelvic inflammatory disease or thyroid dysfunction. The rest of the spectrum of disease is represented in men. Just like in real life.
5. If it's any comfort, nothing you're about to be tested on or have killed yourself learning for the past two years will be at all relevant to your future career. Do you feel better now?
6. The same #1 basic guideline applies as to every other exam you've ever taken: Never fall in love.
7. If you do badly the exam, you can always build a time machine, go back in time, and fix your score. If you do so, just make sure your mom doesn't fall in love with you because it'll, like, disrupt the space time continuum or something.
8. Due to increasing incidence of cheating, proctors have been instructed to perform randomized body cavity searches during the exam. So you may want to rethink some of your old hiding places from the MCATs.
9. Statistically it's been shown that students' scores on Step 1 are reflective of their performance over the past two years, so any studying you're about to do for the exam will statistically be a waste of time. But, you know, don't let that stop you.
10. If all else fails, there's always Plan B: Hide under a pile of coats and hope that everything turns out OK.
Hope that helps!!!
2. Most exam takers will bring ear plugs to protect themselves against noisy people in the room. It is also recommended to bring nose plugs to protect against smelly people in the room. You might also want to blindfold yourself to protect against ugly people in the room.
3. When in doubt, the answer is priapism (the painful prolonged male erection).
4. Regardless of chief complaint or symptoms, every African-American female on the exam has sarcoidosis or possibly lupus. Every Caucasian female has either pelvic inflammatory disease or thyroid dysfunction. The rest of the spectrum of disease is represented in men. Just like in real life.
5. If it's any comfort, nothing you're about to be tested on or have killed yourself learning for the past two years will be at all relevant to your future career. Do you feel better now?
6. The same #1 basic guideline applies as to every other exam you've ever taken: Never fall in love.
7. If you do badly the exam, you can always build a time machine, go back in time, and fix your score. If you do so, just make sure your mom doesn't fall in love with you because it'll, like, disrupt the space time continuum or something.
8. Due to increasing incidence of cheating, proctors have been instructed to perform randomized body cavity searches during the exam. So you may want to rethink some of your old hiding places from the MCATs.
9. Statistically it's been shown that students' scores on Step 1 are reflective of their performance over the past two years, so any studying you're about to do for the exam will statistically be a waste of time. But, you know, don't let that stop you.
10. If all else fails, there's always Plan B: Hide under a pile of coats and hope that everything turns out OK.
Hope that helps!!!
A Cartoon Guide to Becoming a Doctor: http://doccartoon.blogspot.com/
Very funny. I think most of the people who struggle on the Steps don't do so because of lack of knowledge or memorization. They're just not good exam takers. That's all. As for the information being relevant or not. I'm not sure, you never know really. You could be fortunate enough to diagnose someone with a rare disease. And your understanding of the biochemistry of a subject may be the first step to the composition of a thesis.
ReplyDeleteYou never know. I never study for the sake of the exam. I'm genuinely interested in the subject, helps me retain stuff better.